Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Listen Up, Parents:

Okay so I'm going to just give some wild ideas about teenagers.  So my parents are great and everything,  I'm just saying what I would like or want and this does not apply to every kid.  So do not look at this as the Raising A Teenager Bible, please.


Has anyone ever noticed that once you hit about twelve or thirteen you're immediately a different species, a teenager?  I think that's part of the problem, teenagers are so used to being referred to as lazy perverts that they think that it's completely normal.  That it's acceptable to be that way.  My parents have always told me that being a teenager can be the best thing that ever happened to you.  Teenagers can have such a wonderful influence and help in the community.  Think about it,  teens aren't married with kids, don't work full time, don't have heavy responsibilities, they have a lot of energy and love, and are in general super nice people.  (i'm not saying that just because I'm one)
As teens we often need the most encouragement that we ever will.  We are wrestling with tough questions and are deciding what kind of people we want to become.   We want our parents involved in our lives, believe it or not.  Parents are our examples even if the relationships with them might be strained.  I think that a lot of parents become either hopeless with their teen, beyond caring and spending time with them.  Or others become like, super protective.  They're like, "My kids can't go anywhere or do anything or they will become atheists, drug addicts, and have a kid at seventeen."
Both ways aren't the right way to handle things.  (Note, that this is coming from an inexperienced teen myself, I'm not the mother or father of teenagers, so correct me if I'm wrong)

I think that if parents just took time to be with their kids things could really turn around.  Moms go to a coffee shop then go shopping with your girls.  Talk to them about their school, friends, guys, and fashion trends.  If you're really desperate, take selfies with them :)  It's also important for moms to spend time with their sons too.  Whether that's taking them grocery shopping and buying them a huge, mucky sandwich with mountain dew (trust me, most guys of my acquaintance ALL drink mountain dew)  or just talk, about anything, even if that means gutting a fish while you talk, it all depends on the kid.   Dads are a huge part of their kids identities.  Especially guys, but girls too.  I understand that not everyone has a father like that.  If you don't I think that it would be worthwhile to have your boy get a mentor.  A godly older man in your church or neighborhood or something.

Dad's (or mentor or grandfathers):  Take the guys hunting or spend time out in the park throwing a football then go and get a ginormous ice cream.  Talk to them about themselves and what's going on in their lives.   For girls, take them anywhere really.  I know that I love to go running with my dad or if he has to run errands I often tag along.  I even go to some of the funerals that he does.

Another thing: Don't freak out if your kid tells you something that you didn't want to hear.  Like if Suzy tells you that she likes Billy and Billy is one of the most perverted sixteen year olds that you know of.   It tells you something that they trust you when they tell you their secrets.  After you talk about it for a while, then you might want to subtly warn your daughter.   Obviously, if she's sneaking out with a guy or something dreadful like that, then you'll want to put your foot down and talk to her and probably punish her.

I'm  not saying that discipline is unnecessary, it is.  If my parents didn't punish me, I'd be one awful person.  Just don't punish for the wrong reasons or the wrong way.  If your daughter comes down with a skirt that you don't approve of, don't shame her in front of the rest of the family and start a bad day. Maybe pull your daughter aside and gently explain to your daughter why her skirt isn't appropriate and suggest that she put on something else or do something to alter the one she's got on, like using leggings or something.

This is my humble opinion.  I just think that parents should be involved with their kids.  I think that if parents took time to be great parents and friends to their teens things would be so much better.
So correct me if I'm wrong, I just thought I would write this from one person's opinion, mine :)

5 comments:

Paul and Marti Dahl said...

I have to agree with your opinion, parents do need to be involved with their kids.

As a parent who survived raising three kids relatively intact, you also have to at times give your kid some space and let them know you trust them. Sometimes you have to pick them up and dust them off when they fail. ;c)

Sadly, in this day and age, it is too easy for a parent to be caught up in making a living and a home for the family that at times one on one time is hard to do. That is not an excuse, just reality.

That is why we tried to do good vacations and weekend trips so there were special memories created. But often, we did special things one on one and got involved with them in sports and youth groups as their leader.

I think it's great that you do tag along with your dad, I'm sure he appreciates your company and as strange as it sounds, he draws strength from your company (especially at funerals).

You are learning from your parents so when someday you become a parent (heavens!) you can take the good and the bad that you've observed and do the best job with your kids.

Well thought out post, Warrior Princess. Keep 'em coming. :c)

GUP

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you, girl. It's sad how many people I see that are not paying attention to their kids or kids dispising their parents because they never spend any time with each other.

I'm a teenager as well and you will not believe how PRESSURED we are to be snotty, rebellious, lazy, and practically disgusting human beings. Everywhere I go, there's some example and no one wants to be the Goody Two Shoes of the world.

Well, there's my two cents.

DB

Anonymous said...

keep blogging,i miss reading new posts of yours!

Daily Bread said...

Come back Warrior Princess!!! I miss reading your posts!!!

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You aren't back yet.

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You still aren't back!!!!!

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I DEMAND that you start writing NOW!!!!!!!!!


DB

Anonymous said...

Come back Warrior Princess!!! I miss reading your posts!!!

...

You aren't back yet.

...

You still aren't back!!!!!

...

I DEMAND that you start writing NOW!!!!!!!!!


DB

Now u know that ur in trouble because I've said it twice!!!!'