Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Listen Up, Parents:

Okay so I'm going to just give some wild ideas about teenagers.  So my parents are great and everything,  I'm just saying what I would like or want and this does not apply to every kid.  So do not look at this as the Raising A Teenager Bible, please.

Has anyone ever noticed that once you hit about twelve or thirteen you're immediately a different species, a teenager?  I think that's part of the problem, teenagers are so used to being referred to as lazy perverts that they think that it's completely normal.  That it's acceptable to be that way.  My parents have always told me that being a teenager can be the best thing that ever happened to you.  Teenagers can have such a wonderful influence and help in the community.  Think about it,  teens aren't married with kids, don't work full time, don't have heavy responsibilities, they have a lot of energy and love, and are in general super nice people.  (i'm not saying that just because I'm one)
As teens we often need the most encouragement that we ever will.  We are wrestling with tough questions and are deciding what kind of people we want to become.   We want our parents involved in our lives, believe it or not.  Parents are our examples even if the relationships with them might be strained.  I think that a lot of parents become either hopeless with their teen, beyond caring and spending time with them.  Or others become like, super protective.  They're like, "My kids can't go anywhere or do anything or they will become atheists, drug addicts, and have a kid at seventeen."
Both ways aren't the right way to handle things.  (Note, that this is coming from an inexperienced teen myself, I'm not the mother or father of teenagers, so correct me if I'm wrong)

I think that if parents just took time to be with their kids things could really turn around.  Moms go to a coffee shop then go shopping with your girls.  Talk to them about their school, friends, guys, and fashion trends.  If you're really desperate, take selfies with them :)  It's also important for moms to spend time with their sons too.  Whether that's taking them grocery shopping and buying them a huge, mucky sandwich with mountain dew (trust me, most guys of my acquaintance ALL drink mountain dew)  or just talk, about anything, even if that means gutting a fish while you talk, it all depends on the kid.   Dads are a huge part of their kids identities.  Especially guys, but girls too.  I understand that not everyone has a father like that.  If you don't I think that it would be worthwhile to have your boy get a mentor.  A godly older man in your church or neighborhood or something.

Dad's (or mentor or grandfathers):  Take the guys hunting or spend time out in the park throwing a football then go and get a ginormous ice cream.  Talk to them about themselves and what's going on in their lives.   For girls, take them anywhere really.  I know that I love to go running with my dad or if he has to run errands I often tag along.  I even go to some of the funerals that he does.

Another thing: Don't freak out if your kid tells you something that you didn't want to hear.  Like if Suzy tells you that she likes Billy and Billy is one of the most perverted sixteen year olds that you know of.   It tells you something that they trust you when they tell you their secrets.  After you talk about it for a while, then you might want to subtly warn your daughter.   Obviously, if she's sneaking out with a guy or something dreadful like that, then you'll want to put your foot down and talk to her and probably punish her.

I'm  not saying that discipline is unnecessary, it is.  If my parents didn't punish me, I'd be one awful person.  Just don't punish for the wrong reasons or the wrong way.  If your daughter comes down with a skirt that you don't approve of, don't shame her in front of the rest of the family and start a bad day. Maybe pull your daughter aside and gently explain to your daughter why her skirt isn't appropriate and suggest that she put on something else or do something to alter the one she's got on, like using leggings or something.

This is my humble opinion.  I just think that parents should be involved with their kids.  I think that if parents took time to be great parents and friends to their teens things would be so much better.
So correct me if I'm wrong, I just thought I would write this from one person's opinion, mine :)

Yay, I'm Back!

So I have had probably like 20 people asking me why I'm not blogging anymore.  I am, but have been so busy I haven't had time to write.  It's sad, I know :(  

I could probably write a book on everything that has happened.  And now I have a cold, meaning life has slowed down for me, as my mother has me smothered in garlic salve.  Yes, I smell like garlic bread..... So school is starting again.  We are in the process of changing curriculums for school since things are getting more intense for high school and everything.  I'm not ready for school, who is?  You see, I haven't gotten to my quota of sleeping in.

We also just got back from vacation.  So I'm pretty tired, considering that I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a really strange room with a cold.  My throat and nose were really, really bad.    However, I was thrilled to find the TV show Larkrise to Candleford!!!  It was also really nice seeing my cousins again since they live in Virginia.

I am ready for Fall (you may now crucify me for my love of cold) But evidently it's supposed to be a really cold winter, which means I'm now driving my parents nuts telling them how we should have gotten a house with a wood burning fireplace or stove or something.  I think that would be so cozy.  My grandparents used to have two.  And we would play games and just talk or whatever (with  popcorn, of course)  those are some of my favorite memories.  Of course I was about 8 and I was the most obnoxious eight-year-old ever.  First of all,  I wouldn't shut up.  I could talk a blue streak.  I've since gotten a lot quieter and shyer, I'm not sure that it's a good thing though.  Being so shy often can make you look unfriendly or stuck up, which I hope I'm not, it's kind of a rough thing because if I'm nervous I can flip to the other extreme of appearing super talkative and insecure or something.  Sigh, I drive myself nuts.  I just think that maybe I should just do something, I'm not sure what.