Does it ever seem like there are just seasons in your life that when everything seems to be out of your control? I'm in one of those. It seems like I can't do anything right, or even when I am doing things right something comes along and messes everything up. It seems like life is spinning in one crazy circle with me at the center, feeling quite alone and confused. Ok, so I do like to know that things are in control, by me, and that everything will turn out fine. Right now I don't have the assurance that everything will turn out fine. Everything seems to hang up in the air, barely out of reach of my hands. Just when I think that everything will turn out, something changes. I'm more than slightly confused on what step to take. Whether to crawl in bed and never get back up or square my shoulders and face it. Just hang on until things settle down. It brings to mind Britt Nicole's song "Hanging On", yes, it is on this blog.
I think that God uses these times to test me and strengthen me. He know my weaknesses, He wants to know whether I will trust Him or try to take matters into my own hands. I need to remember that it is He who is in control, not me. He know where I will be ten years from now, I don't. He know everything past, present, and future. He whispers to me, softly. He tells me that He knows where I am going. That I should focus on the now, not the tomorrow. That even if things never turn out how I would like them to, He will work it all out for His greater glory. I'm only one person, one insignificant life. But using me, He can further His kingdom. Even if He wants to use the bad.
Good grief, I just convinced myself writing this!!! I didn't even know some of these things until just now! That's just me, my life!