Monday, April 14, 2014

Welcome to My Life

So if you don't know me very well, this post will give you a little peak into my life (and stupidity).

After agreeing to play in the orchestra for the W Chapel campus for Easter I decided that I was going to die.  Well after the first service that I played in (yesterday for Palm Sunday) I realized that I wasn't going to die, I was merely going barely survive for the next week.  AUGH!  Then my family (who are ever supportive of my dreams, even when that meant that I was going to the Fiji islands, when I graduated from medical school, What?!? OK, so I was ELEVEN!) suggested that after I finish here in my favorite place on earth (my nice little W town) that I should try for playing in the A Chapel campus's  orchestra, every Sunday.  I'm convinced that I would lose my sanity, though everyone else thinks that I could do it.  I've got nothing against considering it, but anyone who has ever played a stringed instrument (I'm a string person through and through) especially the violin,  knows that when you play in an orchestra or band or something, you will most likely be playing with FOUR flats.  Like my life wasn't bad enough.

I told a lie, W town is not my favorite place on earth though I do love it a lot.  The Blue Ridge Mountains are my favorite place on earth.  When we went up there for a few days about a year ago, I fell so in love with the area that I never wanted to leave.  I'm pulling for the Smokies and Montana now.....

This morning (no I'm not A.D.D. because I'm skipping topics)  my gramma and I were singing In The Garden,  I love that hymn.  (Gramma helps me with voice when we can)  I love how the person who wrote the song loved being with Jesus all day, and didn't even want to leave when it was time to go and have a good night's sleep. Wouldn't that be awesome?  To love to be with God so much that you just couldn't get enough of Him?  I'm far from that, but I wish that I could be like that.  What is even more special to me is that God Himself would love to spend an entire day, just with me.  That blows me away.  Why on earth would someone as perfect as God want to spend so much time with me?  Me, who gets so caught up in her own "problems" that she can't think about others?  Me, who pushes God out of the picture when I've found something that I think would be so much more interesting?  Me, who knows what God doesn't like, but does it anyway?  Me, who just can't seem to be able to give control to God because I want to be in control of my own life?  Me, who is so concerned about what people think and the future that I don't even think to ask God to direct me?

I really love music (well, everything except gospel. Not sure why.) It seems that it's also the way that God and I communicate best, that's why I'm always posting different music on this blog, mostly they're all songs that made me cry.  That's why I really love orchestras (except for when I'm playing in them, because then I'm a terrible case of nerves) One of my favorite things to do is to pray when I go running.  Doesn't it just seem that God is right there with you when you're in nature? And talking to Him also keeps my mind off of the agonizing pain I always get in either my knee or side.   I love having my devotions outside in the summer, getting up early and sitting on our back patio with the trees and birds and dog, just being with God.  Journaling is really hard for me (why would I want to write about my life? It's all school!) so my diary is a diary to God.  Really just letters to Him.  God finds the most creative ways to convict me (it's so annoying)  and usually it's when I'm in my room with the door closed and turned up stereo trying to forget about all the problems and things that are going on.  Yes, it's the music.  I seriously didn't know that TobyMac could be so thought provoking, or that Britt Nicole could make me sniffle,  even Tenth Avenue North was making me cry like nuts.
Welcome to my life.....

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