I can't hide it even though I try.
Can't deny it, though I haven't the strength to cry.
Can't believe that things could be different.
Can't be who I am, because then you'll see.
You'll see who I am, not who I try to be.
You'll see that I'm hiding everything deep inside of me.
You'll see all the laughter and confidence is fake.
You'll see that I'm not who I want to be.
I want to be free from this pain, I want the wounds to heal.
Though sometimes I feel like I've lost the ability to feel
To feel the hurt that has been given to me.
To feel the emotions that should come from deep inside me.
I don't understand why things happened,
All I know is that someone had planned.
Planned to use my story, sad though it is,
But to use it for some purpose, to let me win.
This is a poor excuse for a piece a of poetry, but I think that it gets the point across.
Shame haunts so many of us. I am no exception. I just want to feel confident in shy, little me.
To be able to not feel guilty about what I have done, that I really have the opportunity to change.