Wednesday, March 26, 2014

How Great Is Our God?

It never ceases to amaze me how much God seems to drop opportunities into my lap.  I pulled out of activities that I felt were influencing me in the wrong direction and was feeling lonely without the peer companionship that I was used to.  Yet it seems like God wants me doing things.  First,  I get the opportunity to play for the church in the orchestra for the Easter week, even if I can only play a few of the songs.  Then God leads my friend and I to host a conference (online, from the REAL conference taking place in Colorado), my music is keeping me crazy busy.  Funny, since I had been wanting to focus more on music rather than myself :)  It seems that even when I am lonely for my peers, God  just shows me that He is my Best Friend and He will never leave me, no matter how isolated from the world I feel.

It also seems like God is slowly, yet surely, showing me that He is the One that is stealing my heart.  Every time that I make a mistake (which is quite often) He gently coaxes me back to Himself, no matter how rebellious and angry I am.
What a wonderful God we serve!  It amazes me how much God loves me, even after He sees the deepest parts of my heart, with all the sin and dirtiness there.  Especially after an extreme struggle with guilt.  I was feeling like, even though I had been forgiven, that it wasn't enough.  That I needed to do something else.  I wasn't worth the trouble of dying for.  Why did Jesus die for me? I totally don't deserve it! Why did He take the punishment that was mine?  Why does He want such a sinner as I to live in His paradise with Him?
The answer is simple:  He loves me.  He loves all the anger, bitterness, rebellion, and scars that come with me.  Yes, He let bad things happen.  Yes, I was hurt and carry scars.  Yet He allowed these things to happen so that I would love Him more, so that I would not take His great Gift of Salvation for granted.  He loves all the bad, all the good, and this love is unconditional; meaning that He'll love us NO MATTER WHAT.  I could be the most sinful person in the world, and He would love me with a love so great that He would die that terrible death all over again, just for me.  How wonderful is that? He so deserves my love and adoration.  That's the least that I can give Him.

It's my dream to serve my Creator to my utmost ability.  Even in the little things, like not snapping at younger siblings when they annoy me (yes, I need to work on that) and being a friend that never judges, being an accepting person no matter what.  I want to be the kind of person that people will love, not for me, but for Who lives inside of me.  Without Jesus, I'm worthless.  Ugly, sinful, and unlovable.  But with Jesus I'm beautiful, holy, and priceless, not because of me.  I'm only human, but because of Jesus who radiates through me.  He makes me worth something, He's the beauty (I'm not talking about physical beauty, I'm talking about beauty as a person) He makes me Holy, unblemished, without sin.  He makes me priceless because of His Spirit living inside of me.  This is who I want to be, I've got a way to go but someday, through the grace of God, I'd like it to become a reality. 

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