Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Here What We're Not Saying

Read this:

Please....Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.  Don't be fooled by the mask I wear.  For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.  Pretending is an art that is a second nature with me, but don't be fooled. 
....I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and that I'm in command and I need no one.  But don't believe it; please don't.
I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk.  I tell you everything that's really nothing, nothing of what's crying within me.  So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying.  Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying;  what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but I can't say.  I dislike the hiding.  Honestly I do.  I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing. I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me; but you have to help me.  You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need.  Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings.  Very small wings.  Very feeble wings.  But wings.  With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it.  You can breathe life into me.  It will not be easy for you.  A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.  But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope.  Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands,  for a child is very sensitive, and I am a child. 
Who am I, you may wonder.  For I am every man, every woman, every child....every human you meet. 

I think that this echoes my heart and many others.  Think of this when you look at people.  It makes you see them from a completely different set of eyes.  


Anonymous said...

Very interesting read. Good thoughts to keep in mind. And for the record, feel free to open up to Gramma ANYTIME. :-) I love to hear your heart and your heart cries mean a lot to me. I can pray more effectively for you when I know where it hurts. Growing up isn't easy, but you'll get through it with your inspiring attitude and care and concern for doing what pleases God. I love you more than words can express. God knows how deep my love for you is, even on the hard days. Hug Hugs!!!!!

Debbie Heffelfinger said...

I love reading your blogs and hearing the honesty and vulnerability that your words project! You have so much insight for such a young soul and I thank you for sharing as you speak for us all! Keep writing! :)

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what that feels like, to be the person in the mask. I try to be the person giving another wings too, but I don't think that I'm very good at that.

Nice post and blog, girlfriend!